Tonight’s DnD adventure:

• DM took advantage of the face that I am hopelessly gay and I got Saffron’d
• While I couldn’t do anything cause I was knocked out on the floor I rolled a character for the dog. Should he end up included he can play a barbarian with an intelligence of 6 and a charisma of 20
• When I was revived I muttered “that’s why I don’t kiss ‘em on the lips” and my dad snorted his water and mom choked
• While rolling initiative as we were charging at the murderer brother rolled a nat1 and DM announced “Gopher hole!” so he fell flat on his face and missed a turn
• She shot me with my own bow so I’m…a bit salty but she’s not bad overall and yes I remain hopelessly gay
• The sheriff refused to take our report that she’d murdered someone unless the murdered person reported it themself so I channeled my chaotic good alignment and fetched the body and dumped it across his desk.  I am now in jail overnight for impeding police business
• So is the body
• Turns out she murdered the guy in order to avert a war so we compromised and filed a single assault charge so she’s jailed for six months instead of anything else
• I’m sharing a cell with her since she smells better than the manky 3 day old body but I should be okay.

DnD in our family is a bit wild.