Fic: “Okay you can stay at my place, I promise nothing will happen”
Me: uh huh lol okay suuuure nothing nope they’re gonna fuck
Fic: *smut happens*
Me: HOLY SHIT WHAT A TWIST THEY DID THE THING WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING THIS IS THE PINNACLE OF WRITING PROWESS I WOULD NEVER GUESS THI