luckyjak:

Sudden fic I have a mighty need for:

Bail Organa and the 20 years he spent with R2-D2 and C3-P0 living in his house.

Featuring chapters such as “Why does this astromech know 42 assassination protocols. He is an astromech. He shouldn’t know that.”

And “C3-P0 why do you know this obscure ancient dialect of huttese, who thought that was useful? Ah, Anakin Skywalker did. That…that makes sense but do you think you could learn this Aleraanian mountain language for me? Thanks!”

And “I will pay you twenty credits to break that astromech’s rocket boosters and make it look like an accident so my nine year old daughter stops RIDING HIM LIKE HE’S A SPEEDER OH GOD SHE’S GOING TO DIE!!!”

And the stunning conclusion of “Padme my darling friend why did you PROGRAM YOUR DROIDS THIS WAY??? HOW WAS THIS USEFUL TO YOU?? THE ASTROMECH HAS A SHIV, PADME. WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT? Oh, Darth Vader did, probably…Padme why did you have such terrifying taste in men…”