Today’s DnD quotable moments:

“DO NOT BITE THE VAMPIRE.”

“All it has is some ragged robes.”
“I’ll take those.”
“YOU ARE LAWFUL GOOD YOU WILL NOT.”
“Yeah I’m putting a hard no on stripping your enemy’s corpse dude.”

“Let them live they’re just trying to do their job!”
“Yeah I’m gonna go into a rage.”
“NO!”
*rolls* “Natural 20.”
*crying* “This is a massacre.”

“There’s honey over there right?”
“…yes?”
“I’m gonna quaff some of that.”
“You’re going to…its like 300 years old. Wait, honey doesn’t go bad does it? Okay you can drink the 300 year old honey I guess.”