So much of the Euro-American understanding of being trans (or anything other than 100% constantly identified with your assigned gender) focuses on discomfort.
Some people take this idea to an extreme and claim you can’t be trans unless you hate your body and want every surgery available to you. As many other writers have said before, that’s not true. It’s perfectly possible to be trans with only mild dysphoria or none at all. It’s perfectly possible to be trans and have a mental map of your body that looks just like the one you already have.
But I’d like to push even harder against the idea that trans=discomfort. I’d like to offer this: sometimes the exploration of one’s gender can be motivated by pleasure rather than discomfort.
Let me give an example. Let’s say there’s a person named Cal. Most people think of Cal as a boy, and Cal’s all right with that. So far as Cal’s concerned, a boy isn’t a bad thing to be. But sometimes, Cal likes to imagine being a girl and being treated as a girl. Those fantasies are always accompanied by feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, anticipation, and warmth. Eventually, having had these thoughts for years, Cal asks people to use ‘she’ pronouns in private and to refer to her as a girl. Cal does this for another year before claiming the label “trans”.
Some people would say a person like Cal can’t be trans because there’s no dysphoria, self-hatred, distress, or even discomfort. There’s just a pleasure-based preference. But why is distress necessary? Why are trans people supposed to be defined solely by our pain and self-hatred?
It’s my opinion that defining trans people solely by discomfort is an aspect of transphobia. The idea behind trans=discomfort is that being anything other than 100% cis is so awful that no one would do it unless the alternative were unlivable. Think about that: defining trans people solely by their experiences of discomfort means believing that being trans is so awful that only misery could drive us to it. And to me, that sounds like the thinking of someone who really hates trans people.
So I’ll come out and say it: sometimes transition or self-exploration of gender is not just about lessening discomfort, but is about improving and deepening the pleasure we take in our lives.
“Think about that: defining trans people solely by their experiences of discomfort means believing that being trans is so awful that only misery could drive us to it.”
Do we know how many people have actually had this happen to them? I’ve seen one firsthand account, and I’m sure there are more, but is this really a Thanos-snap situation? Granted I only follow 100 blogs but I haven’t had this happen to anyone I know, or presumably anyone they know. Of course, it’s still horrible for the people it has happened to or is happening to, but I think also the deletions are perhaps drawing attention away from several other aspects of this situation.
I thought this was funny because Tumblr got grounded by Dad when he caught him with all the porn. I couldn’t stop laughing at the mental image of Tumblr with a backwards cap and a popped collar walking into his bedroom to find Steve Jobs sitting on his bed with his box of Playboys. “Son, we need to talk.”
But here’s the thing: it’s not the porn bots. It’s child porn. And not what angry young tumblrs call child porn. Actual facts explicit photographic sexual images of exploited young children. Which isn’t funny at all. And while I genuinely am sorry for people who got their tumblrs deleted on accident, like….it appears nothing is permanent, and there’s a point at which I’m willing to accept the collateral damage that I might get temporarily deleted in return for no child porn on my social media network.
I think, whether it’s child porn or unwanted adult images, this is a net positive. We’ve been asking Tumblr for years to address the issues with its attitude towards porn bots, and now that Apple has taken the drastic measure of kicking a fucking massive social media network off its app store, Tumblr might realize oh, yes, this really is a problem overall.
Though I am still going to laugh a little bit at the fact that Tumblr’s response to “this really is a problem” is to program something that makes an EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM FOR ITS USERS. It’s…just so very Tumblr.
I was checking out at Walmart, and as I was reaching for my bags I said, “Happy Holidays!” And the cashier leaned in like she was sharing a secret and said “Merry Christmas.” So I smiled politely and said, “Blessed Yule!” And the look that spread across her face, you would have thought I’d literally stolen Christmas from her.
If you’re going to make a point of wishing me a happy whatever-you-celebrate, I’m going to make a point of wishing you a happy whatever-I-celebrate, and if you think that’s wrong you should consider getting “hypocrite” tattooed across your forehead.
It’s that time of year again
A post I made has officially become an “it’s that time of year again” post and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t honored
everyone sharing their twitters and other social media in case of this website experiencing an all-out collapse. not me. use the information you’ve learned about me to track me down. piece together the cryptic clues i have left throughout my blog over the years in preparation of this day to decipher the location of our future meeting. i’ll be waiting
I’m a slut for sitting in comfortable silence while both of us do our own thing and occasionally show each other something dumb on our computers like that’s the good shit my dude.
konekorambles 