otpmusings:

• We specifically bought this mini-van instead of a car because it has three seats in the font but now all we do is argue about who gets to sit in the middle

• Our group chat is mostly just Person A serenading the both of us with song lyrics and dirty messages oh my god this fucking dork…oh shit now I’m kinda aroused one of you fuckers meet me for lunch asap

• We all tried to spit our toothpaste in the sink at the same time and ended up banging our heads together and communicating in unintelligible noises due to having too much fucking toothpaste in our mouths oh my god will one you just spit first I’m so tired I want to go to bed

• Person A always sleeps in the middle because they are the smallest but that also means that sometimes they end up like a whole half of the way down the bed by morning and more than once now we’ve both been terrified we accidentally suffocated them in the night

• Person B is literally so fucking ticklish and we tickle-attack them so often that we think they might actually secretly hate us and have plans to leave us

• Your
  parents are super supportive of our relationship which is really nice
  but every year your mom knits us three matching Christmas sweaters and
  we have no choice but to wear them and now the entire extended family
  knows we’re all together and it can get kinda awkward at times but oh
  well I love you both so much, hey Person A show us your childhood
  bedroom

• I SWEAR I HAVEN’T WORN A PAIR OF MY OWN
  UNDERWEAR IN OVER A YEAR THERE IS JUST SO MUCH FUCKING UNDERWEAR IN THIS
  HOUSEHOLD GODDAMN

• You and I were innocently making out
  but then I got aroused and so did you but we knew Person C would be
  home literally any minute so we just decided to wait for them at which
  point they walked through the door and took one look at our faces and
  realized exactly what was going on before sighing at us disappointingly
  and taking off their shirt

• You two are such
  trouble-makers and I am literally cleaning up after you 24/7 please be
  adults for like one second and no both of you simultaneously smothering
  me in neck kisses isn’t going to make me less mad….but carry on anyways