@forcearama has used the title “Anakin ‘I Had a Bad Dream, Let’s Blow Up The Universe’ Skywalker,” and frankly, for better or worse, this is a great 2-second summary of Anakin.
😄
I have called Anakin (and pretty much every other character) a LOT of things over on Snark Wars – a mixture of titles that are true, funny, sad, or (often) a combination of all three. For example:
Anakin Skywalker, Co-Winner of the Prestigious Star
Wars Weirdest Life Ever Award
Anakin Skywalker, The Most Ridiculous Person Who Has Ever Lived
Anakin Skywalker, Entrance-Maker
Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Dad Jokes
Anakin Skywalker, Increasingly Evil Heartthrob
Anakin Skywalker, Least Subtle Person Ever
Anakin
Skywalker, Galaxy’s Worst Dinner Date
Anakin Skywalker, Definitely Totally Not Interested In Killing Anything
Anakin
Skywalker, The Poster Boy
Anakin Skywalker, Deadbeat Employee
Anakin Skywalker, Hopeless Drama Queen
Anakin Skywalker, The Hero With No Friends
Anakin Skywalker, Extremely Huge Nerd
Anakin Skywalker, LiarAnakin Skywalker, Yeller of Things
Anakin Skywalker, Human Lightning Rod
Anakin Skywalker, Obsessed Ex-Boyfriend
Anakin Skywalker, Totally Game for a Three-WayAnakin Skywalker, Dramatic Hallway Spree-Killer
Anakin Skywalker, Spectacle-Causer
Anakin Skywalker, Saving the Day Through Property Destruction
Anakin Skywalker, Cares More Than You Do and He’ll Punch You To Prove It
Anakin Skywalker, Adult Tantrum-Haver
Anakin Skywalker, Shirtless Nightmare-Haver
Anakin Skywalker, Just Cares So Much About the Republic Yeah That’s ItAnakin Skywalker, On Fire But Not In The Literal Sense
This Time
Anakin Skywalker, Basically a Preschooler
Anakin Skywalker, Doofus
Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan-Blamer
Anakin Skywalker, Real Housewife of the Jedi Order
Anakin Skywalker, Slow On the Uptake…and, possibly my favorite:
Anakin Skywalker, Won’t Let You Die Unless He’s the One Killing YouYou’ve also done
Anakin Skywalker, Occasionally an Adult With His Shit Together
Anakin Skywalker: Needs A Hug
Anakin Skywalker, Living Up To His Name
Anakin Skywalker, Good Clone Dad
Anakin Skywalker, Extra Extra
Anakin Skywalker, Posting Your Bail
Anakin Skywalker, Man Of Many Talents
Anakin Skywalker, Just Barely Holding It Together
Anakin Skywalker, Petty And Small And Full Of Fear
Anakin Skywalker, Finger-Pointer
Anakin Skywalker, Has The Force On Speed-Dial
Anakin Skywalker, Storage-Room-Dweller
Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One/Guy Who Blows It
Anakin Skywalker, Learned From The Best
Anakin Skywalker, Looking For a Dramatic Way To Do Something
Anakin Skywalker, Laying It On Thick
Anakin Skywalker, Here to Save Poor Palpatine
Anakin Skywalker, Comic Relief For Me Way More Times Than He Probably Should Be
Anakin Skywalker, Pretty Sure Someone’s Going to Die
Anakin Skywalker, Refuses To Accept Anyone’s Death As An Option
Anakin Skywalker, Emotionally Involved
Anakin Skywalker, Bringer of Dinner and Also Hotness
Anakin Skywalker, STILL KILLING ME HERE
Anakin Skywalker: Aware of his strengths
Anakin Skywalker, NOT FREAKING OUT HERE
Anakin Skywalker, Jealous Limo Driver
Anakin Skywalker Is Insecure
Anakin Skywalker, Still Totally Fine Guys
Anakin Skywalker, Short On Pity
Anakin Skywalker, Wants To Bond With Obi-Wan Kenobi
Anakin Skywalker, Shipping Fangirl
Anakin Skywalker, ALWAYS Killing Me Here
Anakin Skywalker, Self-Saboteur
Anakin Skywalker, Killing Me Here
Anakin Skywalker Lives, Kinda
Anakin Skywalker, Overcomplicating Things
Anakin Skywalker, Traitor
Anakin Skywalker, A Little Touchy About That
Anakin Skywalker, In The Dark
Anakin Skywalker, Multilingual Demand-Maker
Anakin Skywalker, Doomed to Eternal Frustration
Anakin Skywalker, PLEASE
Anakin Skywalker, Future General
Anakin Skywalker, High-Value Hostage
Anakin Skywalker, So Outta Here
Anakin Skywalker, Always Up For Rescuing Obi-Wan
Anakin Skywalker, Used By Everyone
Anakin Skywalker, My Enabler
Anakin Skywalker, Wants to Be a Good Jedi
Anakin Skywalker Wants to Fight the Power
Anakin Skywalker Wants Out
Anakin Skywalker, The Most Ridiculous Person Who Has Ever Lived
Anakin Skywalker, Suspended in Bacta
Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Dad Jokes
Anakin Skywalker, Knower of Something For Once Finally
Anakin Skywalker, Hitting The Fork In The Road
Anakin Skywalker, Surprised Anyone Would Sign Up For This Because Even Obi-Wan Can Barely Tolerate Him Sometimes and That Guy Will Put Up With Pretty Much ANYTHING
Anakin Skywalker, AWOL
Anakin Skywalker, Missing Persons Investigator
Anakin Skywalker, Straying From The Path Prepared For Him From a Certain Point of View
Anakin Skywalker, Doing His Best He’s Trying
Anakin Skywalker Wants to Fight The Power
Anakin Skywalker, Menace to Society
Anakin Skywalker, Losing His Cool
Anakin Skywalker, Impressed With Himself
Anakin Skywalker, An Embarrassment
Anakin Skywalker, Maybe Starting To Wonder If He Backed The Wrong Horse
Anakin Skywalker, Donator of Genes
Anakin Skywalker’s Dramatic DNA Cannot Be Escaped
Anakin Skywalker, Confused But Trying to Cover With Shit-Talking
Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Hand-Waver
Anakin Skywalker, Still Loves The Force And Also Obi-Wan
Anakin Skywalker, Own Biggest Fan
Anakin Skywalker, Does What He Wants
Anakin Skywalker, Kind of a Dick Sometimes
Anakin Skywalker, Has Been Wronged By So Many Except Palpatine Of Course
Anakin Skywalker, War Hero
Anakin Skywalker, An Idiot
Anakin Skywalker, Not Good In Meetings
Anakin Skywalker, Daydreamer
Anakin Skywalker, Stating the Obvious
Anakin Skywalker, Least Subtle Person Ever
Anakin Skywalker, Totally Able to Handle Anything
Anakin Skywalker, Has More Feelings Than All Of You
Anakin Skywalker, Gonna Be Chewing On This One For a While
Anakin Skywalker, Day-Ruiner
Anakin Skywalker, Great Big Pain in the Ass
Anakin Skywalker, Asleep on the Job
Anakin Skywalker, In Need of Sedation
Anakin Skywalker Owes This Guy
Anakin Skywalker, Not As Funny As He Thinks He Is
Anakin Skywalker, Punch-Thrower
Anakin Skywalker, Packing Heat
Anakin Skywalker, Not Good at Storytelling
Anakin Skywalker, Predictable As Hell
Anakin Skywalker, Rageaholic
Anakin Skywalker, Understandably Not a Fan of Slavery
Anakin Skywalker, The “Gives No Fucks” Years
And
Anakin Skywalker, Risky Pilot
Anakin Skywalker, Foodie
Anakin Skywalker: Cannot Be Taken Anywhere
Anakin Skywalker, Bad With Animals
Anakin Skywalker, Showman
Anakin Skywalker, A Gift From The Humor Gods
Anakin Skywalker, Zero For Four
Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan’s Apprentice
Anakin Skywalker, Doesn’t Need a Group Consensus
Anakin Brought His Smoke Machine
Anakin Skywalker, Classroom Crasher
Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Courtroom Disruptor
Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Irony Incarnate
Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Faces
Anakin Skywalker, Cross-Examiner
Anakin Skywalker, One Time Actually Said This To Someone
Anakin Skywalker, Having a Meltdown
Anakin Skywalker, Father of a Runaway
Anakin Skywalker, Having a Shit Week At Work
Anakin Skywalker, Reluctant Day-Saver
Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Locksmith
Anakin Skywalker, Proud Father
Anakin Skywalker’s Uplifting Life Story
Anakin Skywalker, Member of SAG
Anakin Skywalker, Still Still Killing Me Here
Anakin Skywalker, Holding It Together
Anakin Skywalker, Undercover Detective
Anakin Skywalker, Serving Evil to Defeat Evil
Anakin Skywalker, Has a Few Hot Button Issues
Anakin Skywalker, Going to Take Care of Business
Anakin Skywalker, Guy Who Can Break Anything
Anakin Skywalker, Does Not Like Slavery
Anakin Skywalker, Man With No Plan
Anakin Skywalker, Getting Closer to the Line
Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One/Complete Dork
Anakin: again, totally fine everything’s OK situation normal I’m not sad
Anakin Skywalker, Problem Child
Anakin Skywalker: Mistrusted Employee
…And I spent days compiling this.
*jaw drops* OMG
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