dodgylogic:

onlyinankhmorpork:

fialleril:

pcklesthings:

romanimp:

oltanya:

gemcuttlefish:

bookhobbit:

poorlydescribedpterrybooks:

cenedrariva:

femvimes:

Describe the climax of your favorite Discworld book as poorly as possible

I’ll go first:

A berserk man solves a crime by yelling a children’s book underground

A banker/con artist sees a dog with a dildo and it gives him the freedom to confess to his crimes

A little girl fights off fairies by being greedy.

everyone get IN ON THIS

– Exhausted local man whacks a child’s terrifying haunted stick with a halfbrick in a sock and is blasted to another plane of reality for his pains

– A cranky old woman torments some vampires by not drinking a cup of tea

– Respectable young lady threatens some men and sort of discovers swearing, accidental reporter discovers his father is an even worse person than he thought

I was going to try and do this for Mort, but it’s kind of tge reverse situation in which the description of the climax sounds significantly more dire than it feels

Death hypocritically refuses to die on time. 

Goth Mary Poppins saves Christmas by thwarting an assassination attempt on Santa Claus.

@fialleril

A walking flowerpot declares independence and ruins the cattle industry.

The Inquisition didn’t expect that turtle.

The first book ends on a cliffhanger. It also stops the narrative at a very suspenseful point, to be continued in another installment.

@thebibliosphere

Cop almost kills a man for eating his hard boiled egg, before deciding to deescalate and arrest him for murder instead