Tag: my darling human disaster

forcearama:

flaim-ita:

flaim-ita:

forcearama:

enthusiasticallyobessed:

@forcearama has used the title “Anakin ‘I Had a Bad Dream, Let’s Blow Up The Universe’ Skywalker,” and frankly, for better or worse, this is a great 2-second summary of Anakin.

😄

I have called Anakin (and pretty much every other character) a LOT of things over on Snark Wars – a mixture of titles that are true, funny, sad, or (often) a combination of all three. For example: 

Anakin Skywalker, Co-Winner of the Prestigious Star
Wars Weirdest Life Ever Award
Anakin Skywalker, The Most Ridiculous Person Who Has Ever Lived 
Anakin Skywalker, Entrance-Maker
Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Dad Jokes
Anakin Skywalker, Increasingly Evil Heartthrob
Anakin Skywalker, Least Subtle Person Ever 
Anakin
Skywalker, Galaxy’s Worst Dinner Date 
Anakin Skywalker, Definitely Totally Not Interested In Killing Anything

Anakin
Skywalker, The Poster Boy
Anakin Skywalker, Deadbeat Employee

Anakin Skywalker, Hopeless Drama Queen

Anakin Skywalker, The Hero With No Friends 

Anakin Skywalker, Extremely Huge Nerd
Anakin Skywalker, Liar

Anakin Skywalker, Yeller of Things
Anakin Skywalker, Human Lightning Rod
Anakin Skywalker, Obsessed Ex-Boyfriend
Anakin Skywalker, Totally Game for a Three-Way

Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Hallway Spree-Killer

Anakin Skywalker, Spectacle-Causer
Anakin Skywalker, Saving the Day Through Property Destruction
Anakin Skywalker, Cares More Than You Do and He’ll Punch You To Prove It
Anakin Skywalker, Adult Tantrum-Haver
Anakin Skywalker, Shirtless Nightmare-Haver
Anakin Skywalker, Just Cares So Much About the Republic Yeah That’s It

Anakin Skywalker, On Fire But Not In The Literal Sense
This Time
Anakin Skywalker, Basically a Preschooler
Anakin Skywalker, Doofus
Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan-Blamer
Anakin Skywalker, Real Housewife of the Jedi Order
Anakin Skywalker, Slow On the Uptake

  …and, possibly my favorite:


Anakin Skywalker, Won’t Let You Die Unless He’s the One Killing You

You’ve also done

Anakin Skywalker, Occasionally an Adult With His Shit Together

Anakin Skywalker: Needs A Hug

Anakin Skywalker, Living Up To His Name

Anakin Skywalker, Good Clone Dad

Anakin Skywalker, Extra Extra

Anakin Skywalker, Posting Your Bail

Anakin Skywalker, Man Of Many Talents

Anakin Skywalker, Just Barely Holding It Together

Anakin Skywalker, Petty And Small And Full Of Fear

Anakin Skywalker, Finger-Pointer

Anakin Skywalker, Has The Force On Speed-Dial

Anakin Skywalker, Storage-Room-Dweller

Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One/Guy Who Blows It

Anakin Skywalker, Learned From The Best

Anakin Skywalker, Looking For a Dramatic Way To Do Something

Anakin Skywalker, Laying It On Thick

Anakin Skywalker, Here to Save Poor Palpatine

Anakin Skywalker, Comic Relief For Me Way More Times Than He Probably Should Be

Anakin Skywalker, Pretty Sure Someone’s Going to Die

Anakin Skywalker, Refuses To Accept Anyone’s Death As An Option

Anakin Skywalker, Emotionally Involved

Anakin Skywalker, Bringer of Dinner and Also Hotness

Anakin Skywalker, STILL KILLING ME HERE

Anakin Skywalker: Aware of his strengths

Anakin Skywalker, NOT FREAKING OUT HERE

Anakin Skywalker, Jealous Limo Driver

Anakin Skywalker Is Insecure

Anakin Skywalker, Still Totally Fine Guys

Anakin Skywalker, Short On Pity

Anakin Skywalker, Wants To Bond With Obi-Wan Kenobi

Anakin Skywalker, Shipping Fangirl

Anakin Skywalker, ALWAYS Killing Me Here

Anakin Skywalker, Self-Saboteur

Anakin Skywalker, Killing Me Here

Anakin Skywalker Lives, Kinda

Anakin Skywalker, Overcomplicating Things

Anakin Skywalker, Traitor

Anakin Skywalker, A Little Touchy About That

Anakin Skywalker, In The Dark

Anakin Skywalker, Multilingual Demand-Maker

Anakin Skywalker, Doomed to Eternal Frustration

Anakin Skywalker, PLEASE

Anakin Skywalker, Future General

Anakin Skywalker, High-Value Hostage

Anakin Skywalker, So Outta Here

Anakin Skywalker, Always Up For Rescuing Obi-Wan

Anakin Skywalker, Used By Everyone

Anakin Skywalker, My Enabler

Anakin Skywalker, Wants to Be a Good Jedi

Anakin Skywalker Wants to Fight the Power

Anakin Skywalker Wants Out

Anakin Skywalker, The Most Ridiculous Person Who Has Ever Lived

Anakin Skywalker, Suspended in Bacta

Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Dad Jokes

Anakin Skywalker, Knower of Something For Once Finally

Anakin Skywalker, Hitting The Fork In The Road

Anakin Skywalker, Surprised Anyone Would Sign Up For This Because Even Obi-Wan Can Barely Tolerate Him Sometimes and That Guy Will Put Up With Pretty Much ANYTHING

Anakin Skywalker, AWOL

Anakin Skywalker, Missing Persons Investigator

Anakin Skywalker, Straying From The Path Prepared For Him From a Certain Point of View

Anakin Skywalker, Doing His Best He’s Trying

Anakin Skywalker Wants to Fight The Power

Anakin Skywalker, Menace to Society

Anakin Skywalker, Losing His Cool

Anakin Skywalker, Impressed With Himself

Anakin Skywalker, An Embarrassment

Anakin Skywalker, Maybe Starting To Wonder If He Backed The Wrong Horse

Anakin Skywalker, Donator of Genes

Anakin Skywalker’s Dramatic DNA Cannot Be Escaped

Anakin Skywalker, Confused But Trying to Cover With Shit-Talking

Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Hand-Waver

Anakin Skywalker, Still Loves The Force And Also Obi-Wan

Anakin Skywalker, Own Biggest Fan

Anakin Skywalker, Does What He Wants

Anakin Skywalker, Kind of a Dick Sometimes

Anakin Skywalker, Has Been Wronged By So Many Except Palpatine Of Course

Anakin Skywalker, War Hero

Anakin Skywalker, An Idiot

Anakin Skywalker, Not Good In Meetings

Anakin Skywalker, Daydreamer

Anakin Skywalker, Stating the Obvious

Anakin Skywalker, Least Subtle Person Ever

Anakin Skywalker, Totally Able to Handle Anything

Anakin Skywalker, Has More Feelings Than All Of You

Anakin Skywalker, Gonna Be Chewing On This One For a While

Anakin Skywalker, Day-Ruiner

Anakin Skywalker, Great Big Pain in the Ass

Anakin Skywalker, Asleep on the Job

Anakin Skywalker, In Need of Sedation

Anakin Skywalker Owes This Guy

Anakin Skywalker, Not As Funny As He Thinks He Is

Anakin Skywalker, Punch-Thrower

Anakin Skywalker, Packing Heat

Anakin Skywalker, Not Good at Storytelling

Anakin Skywalker, Predictable As Hell

Anakin Skywalker, Rageaholic

Anakin Skywalker, Understandably Not a Fan of Slavery

Anakin Skywalker, The “Gives No Fucks” Years

And

Anakin Skywalker, Risky Pilot

Anakin Skywalker, Foodie

Anakin Skywalker: Cannot Be Taken Anywhere

Anakin Skywalker, Bad With Animals

Anakin Skywalker, Showman

Anakin Skywalker, A Gift From The Humor Gods

Anakin Skywalker, Zero For Four

Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan’s Apprentice

Anakin Skywalker, Doesn’t Need a Group Consensus

Anakin Brought His Smoke Machine

Anakin Skywalker, Classroom Crasher

Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Courtroom Disruptor

Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Irony Incarnate

Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Faces

Anakin Skywalker, Cross-Examiner

Anakin Skywalker, One Time Actually Said This To Someone

Anakin Skywalker, Having a Meltdown

Anakin Skywalker, Father of a Runaway

Anakin Skywalker, Having a Shit Week At Work

Anakin Skywalker, Reluctant Day-Saver

Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Locksmith

Anakin Skywalker, Proud Father

Anakin Skywalker’s Uplifting Life Story

Anakin Skywalker, Member of SAG

Anakin Skywalker, Still Still Killing Me Here

Anakin Skywalker, Holding It Together

Anakin Skywalker, Undercover Detective

Anakin Skywalker, Serving Evil to Defeat Evil

Anakin Skywalker, Has a Few Hot Button Issues

Anakin Skywalker, Going to Take Care of Business

Anakin Skywalker, Guy Who Can Break Anything

Anakin Skywalker, Does Not Like Slavery

Anakin Skywalker, Man With No Plan

Anakin Skywalker, Getting Closer to the Line

Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One/Complete Dork

Anakin: again, totally fine everything’s OK situation normal I’m not sad

Anakin Skywalker, Problem Child

Anakin Skywalker: Mistrusted Employee

…And I spent days compiling this.

*jaw drops* OMG

what are your headcanons for how anakin might be a bit not-quite-human due to being an actual force baby? if you have any

themoosejthm:

I have so many and…I honestly kinda trickle them into my writings all over the place. In little things and details that aren’t for anyone else but me to grin at. 

But they all have these things in common, so I’ll yammer on about those:

  • He can see and hear in more places of existence than he should be able to 
  • He can see time concurrently if he concentrates – it’s why he’s such a good strategist – but it also means he can see the past and the future in equal measures. This makes meditation a fucking nightmare. 
  • In every version of Anakin Skywalker, he experiences some form of body dysphoria because there’s a sizable part of him that isn’t used to having a single form, unchanging. 
  • If his mother had been anyone else, he might have had a less human shell and wouldn’t have been able to become Darth Vader at all – how do you put someone into a iron lung, after all, if they don’t have a single form?
  • His love is the thing that keeps his form stable – even as Darth Vader, he was still heart-endingly in love with

    Padmé

    and he still loved Obi-Wan as much as he hated the man and he loved Ahsoka still even if he never wanted her anywhere near him ever again. He loved Sheev Palpatine still and hated himself for the dependence. 

  • The Dark and the Light whisper and coo at him at all times and both of them are more than capable of doing him serious harm if he isn’t paying attention
  • The first time he saw

    Padmé

    Amidala he saw everything she was, could ever be, ever would be, and everything she could not be. It was so bright and so much and he could remember, in the deep places of himself that cry out in agony at all times, that they were connected somehow. He asked her if she was an angel because what else could she be?

  • He can feel planets pretty much at all times, like white noise. Sometimes they sing or hum, but mostly it’s just the sense of the gravity, of the environmental stress, of the draining of resources, of the life happening on it. If he reaches too much with the Force, he can loose himself in them. 
  • His emotions make his control better, make him stronger – regardless of what those emotions are.
  • He can reach across star systems and feel Padmé with only a little bit of strain as long as they’re both in the same core of the republic – like, if they’re both in the core, or the mid-rim, or the outer rim. This is terrifying because each core has quite a LOT of star systems and even Yoda can only feel things happening in the star system he is currently in.
  • He should be sterile from the amount of radiation that flows through his blood naturally, but isn’t. He should be toxic to be around, his blood acid, but neither of those things is true in practice
  • If you look at him in the Force, somehow manage to make your eyes see a plane that isn’t supposed to be seen just felt, Anakin has wings and scales and fins and eyes everywhere. He shines and vibrates and drips blood and stardust. He has claws and fingers and teeth and fangs and a gaping mouth with multiple tongues. He is terrible and beautiful. 
  • Being half force did not save him from anyone, if anything it made things worse

agentlukealvez:

     At night, the dead-star dragon sometimes sneaks through the cracks and crawls up into his brain and chews at the inside of his skull. The dragon whispers of what Anakin has lost. And what he will lose.

     The dragon reminds him, every night, of how he had held his dying mother in his arms, of how she had spent her last strength to say I knew you would come for me, Anakin…

     The dragon reminds him, every night, that someday he will lose Obi-Wan. He will lose Padmé. Or they will lose him.

     All things die, Anakin Skywalker. Even stars burn out… {source}