“I’m not currently eating, therefore I am starving.”
“I need to redecorate, but it can wait until the human has just fallen asleep.”
“My cagemate is minding her own business. Now is the perfect time to ATTACK!!!!”
“The human gave us a large bowl of oatmeal. There is enough for both of us, and the bowl is big enough for us both to eat without bothering the other. Therefore, I must shove my cagemate out of the way and sit in the bowl so she can’t have any.”
“If I snub the veggies, the human will have to give me yogurt drops instead so I don’t starve.”
“Everything new must be licked, chewed, or peed on. This includes but is not limited to: humans, clothes, knitting needles, books, phones, and phone chargers.”
“I could easily climb up mom’s leg by grabbing her pants, but she would much prefer I go inside her pant leg and dig my claws into her skin.”
“I cannot possibly finish this whole strawberry, I could let my cagemate finish it, but it would be much better to stash it inside the couch cushions and forget about it.”
“I have to go potty. There is a litter pan eight inches away, but I am comfy in my hammock. Bed pee it is, then.”
“This thing smells inexpensive. I will not chew it, that would be beneath me. This other thing smells very, very expensive. Clearly I must chew only the finest things in life.”
Tag: rat stuff
Look at my children watching figure skating!
me, kissing my rats: stinky stinky stinky, yes you are, my smelly babbies, mommy lof u
Another relatable pet owner feel:
Darn it, why is the floor wet?
another great pet owner feel is “damn it, why is my pet….wet”
Another for the rat owners: “Why is my pullover…. Ewwww, again!”
life with rats:
“oh my baby. you’re so perfect and funny and pretty…. STOP KNOCKING DOWN MY MAGIC SUPPLIES AAAAH”
“ohhh darling lil fluff, you’re my heart, you’re my sweet little whisker baby, i love you so so much–
GODDAMN IT ARE YOU IN MY MAKEUP AGAIN”
talking to non-rat owners: they’re actually extremely smart, so trainable, and obsessed with being Clean!! they spend all day washing their little faces and fussily rearranging their area!! good and precious!! never done anything wrong in their lives!!!
talking to another rat owner: oh, YEAH? well MY fatrat once chewed through the ENTIRE WALL! she also likes to beat up her sisters for their snacks, thieve food from my very mouth, and stick pizza crust in my underwear drawer.
Him sway
If I could say one thing to my rats and have them understand what I was saying, it would be “I love you”. If I could say two things to my rats and have them understand, they would be “I love you, and also my eyebrows are a natural part of my face, there’s no need for you to try to remove them.”
“I love you, and also my feet are still my feet when they’re wearing socks, please don’t bite them”
Ok, if I could say three things to my rats…
I assumed you would tell them to properly use the potty pans… 😂
“I love you, and also throwing your food outside of the cage isn’t an effective way of hiding it.”
Me, carefully inspecting my rat’s tiny foot: “So perfect, such delicate toes, such beautifully curved nails, so pink, so soft. Truly, this rat foot is the very definition of art.
My Rat: 
Just Rat Owner Things
Hearing a sudden squeal from the rat cage because there are epic rat battles all hours of the day and night.
That is finger, not food.
Random items disappearing into a pile under the sofa.
Coming to terms w having a pet who will LITERALLY steal the food out of your mouth if given a chance.
Why do you pee on everything?
They’re spoiled because they look adorable when they eat.
Little happy rat chatter.
Until now I was not aware an animal could give me such a brutal stinkeye.
Pop! Corn!
The tiniest sneezes.
konekorambles 