Tag: working hospitality is weird

I’m sick, I don’t want to deal with bullshit, I’ve been practically bathing in hand sanitizer all evening, and people just stole a bunch of shit out of our convenience store including several of the baskets we use to hold shit like small candies and packets of fruit snacks and bagels so that’s fantastic

We’re supposed to get in trouble if we don’t finish the laundry during our shifts but do you think I can get away with it with the reasoning that these new sheets are The Worst Texture I have ever encountered in my entire life and I STICK MY HANDS IN GUTS EVERY WEEKEND

I’m so grumpy about giving out early check ins, even this time of year when it’s almost always possible, because I’M the one who then gets yelled at in the summer because “they let us check in at 4am last tiiiiiimmmeeee” when we’re sold out, or gets the “i’m a SPIRE MEMBER you should be licking my boots and thanking me for checking in at 6″ attitude from stuck up assholes.

Nah yain’t gettin in before noon fuckers and that’s generous stop calling.

okay when people leave their trash outside their doors I might grump in my head or at my coworkers about how entitled and annoying people are but i’ll pick it up without too much resentment

but the people who stash their trash in weird hallway niches or the corners of the stairs or behIND THE ARMCHAIRS BY THE ELEVATOR like some kind of fucking garbage goblins will never fail to piss me off.

it’s my last day of work before christmas and i’m not sure if i’m cry-laughing or just crying

there was a reported disturbance in a room earlier, of two women threatening a man with a knife.  Police came, checked it out, determined that nothing was suspicious, and left.  They called the woman whose name was on the room, she said she was at the hospital thinking she was in labor and had been all night.  That no one else had keys to the room or could have been in there.  I figure they must have the wrong hotel because it’s been absolutely quiet all night, and the next room over is occupied by the nosiest most racist old lady I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet, and I figure that if something was going down she’d have called and let me know.  In triplicate.  Room occupant then called me and said she didn’t feel safe staying here bc she just got a call from the police asking if she’d stabbed a man and she wants to come get her stuff, that she’s on her way now.  Fair enough.  I tell her I’ll cancel the room and she can come get her stuff.  The hospital is <5 minutes away.  Two hours later she calls again, says she’s being arrested and she wants her friend to come get her stuff.  Great.  Time to kill the keys so they have to come talk to the desk and I can verify that the room is empty before actually cancelling it.  Which I do.  Earlier I could hear the tv on but can’t when I go up to deactivate the keys.  There’s probably someone in the room.  Fuck.

Her friend doesn’t show up for another hour, so I ended up calling the police back to go up with me to confirm that the room was empty (I’m here alone at night so I’m not about to go up to a room that potentially has knife-weilding people in it).  I went up with them, I suspect they woke up the entire hallway with their pounding and yelling (thanks guys) and went in with guns drawn which was just fanfuckingtastic.

The room was empty, the tv was on but muted.  The aforementioned knife is lying on the counter so apparently that was in fact a thing.  I thought that was the most exciting thing that would be found in there but popped in to turn off the tv.

DILDOS

EVERYWHERE

I counted six in my cursory glance before i decided fuck that shit i’m out.

Almost all of them were absolutely enormous.

I am.  So distressed rn.  Guys.  I quit life.

Someone sent my workplace a very polite and formally-worded email inquiring about our credit card policy and ngl I am very tempted to send them an email asking if 1) this is the email address they put on job applications and 2) if they are aware that their full legal name is now associated with “suckkn_swallow69”

This guy just asked me to wash his dirty clothes for him and got super offended when I said no.
My guy. My dude. We have FREE laundry machines in the building. You may wash your own clothes. Don’t go giving me the stink eye cause I’m not willing to deal with your dirty boxers which is far, FAR beyond my job description.

I’m at work and I heard a huge crash.  Got up and looked, no one was around and nothing was obviously broken so I figured I’d find it eventually.  Did find a smashed picture frame on the floor a few minutes later.  Actually went back on the security cameras to find

  • There is a camera pointed straight at where the picture was
  • There is no one to be found on any of the other cameras at that time
  • The camera pointed at the picture has been somehow erased for about 3 hrs
  • Seriously, it cuts off at 9pm (picture still on the wall) and picks up again to me cleaning up the broken glass at 12:30
  • All of the other cameras are functional during that time period

In conclusion: My coworker joked about opening this plastic tupperware and releasing the demons inside but evidence points to something actually being unleashed on my hotel.

So whoever the patron saint of hotel workers is is looking out for me tonight.  I just came within 30 seconds of sending someone up to a room with someone sleeping in it. At 2:30am.  But I caught it in time.  In other news, my coworker is DEAD the next time I see him.  And then the only room I had for them smells like stale feet so I took $100 off their rate (and we’re so packed that that’s still well over our usual rate) and gave them febreeze and I feel so bad because I told them I had a room for them and instead they got.  Stale feet smell.