1) Pippin professes atheism, argues so persuasively he somehow manages to get GANDALF to second guess himself for a split second
2) “what if we put the Ring in a catapult & launched it into Mount Doom from a distance”: dismissed as a serious plan very quickly due to high margin for error but the argument simmers for several days as Gandalf refuses to concede that it would work in theory. (Pippin also started this one.)
3) Who Started It: Legolas or Gimli edition
4) Who Started It: Merry or Pippin edition
5) Who ate the last *insert food item here* I know it was one of your four FESS UP (one time it was actually Gandalf, he never fessed up)
6) Legolas is mad at Gimli but whenever anyone asks why he just says ‘the dwarf knows what he did’ (Gimli hasn’t a clue)
Somebody made Sam cry one (1) time early on & after that every time he cries the entire company starts slinging accusations like there’s no tomorrow
Further thoughts:
1) although Pippin started the catapult argument the ppl who keep it going are Frodo and Boromir (both of whom were momentarily 100% down with it until they realised what a horrible idea it would be in practice, ie miss & the Ring is just lying about in Mordor for any orc to grab)
it’s all fun and games till one of the hobbits calls beards ‘unsightly’ and Gimi shoots back ‘that’s a bit rich coming from someone with that much fOOT HAIR’ and after that it is fucking ON and once the dust settles certain people don’t speak to certain other people for like 3 days
Sam: *bursts into tears because idk he just does that sometimes*
Frodo: For fuck’s sake Sam just yesterday you were crying about snakes.
truly one of the funniest things about lotr to me is how much hostility
the hobbits, a race of cheerful, fun-loving farm people, bear towards
gandalf for absolutely NO reason except that he kills their chill vibe
the hobbits of the shire whenever they hear gandalf is in town:
i mean. the real reason i made this post is to post all these photos of same-sex lion groups. they’re just gay look at them! so loving.
im not going to post a pic of the gay lions fucking but we all know there are many
they’re also just so naturally dramatic and comfortable like this guy? this man could dish on anyone at the watering hole and i’d believe him
meanwhile lionesses are like one vegan bakery short of a lesbian network to rival your average new england small city. look at them co-parenting and generally having a womanist community
they also are just very tender and are clearly liberated and more than happy to live a life without men.
also they’re all so butch i mean look at them. they all look like they know how to put up some drywall you know?? you know?
some of the butchest ones even grow little manes. look at her! queen of gender nonconformity.
konekorambles 